today's moral authority has no soul

I received a letter today from DCFS. It was depressing. It said that the findings were that I abused my child. And that I will not be considered, as the law requires, as a candidate for the Foster Care programs as a viable caregiver. Dagger to the heart…
We have 6 children. Our son Moroni “Jeffy” Holm is the second oldest and is autistic.
Jeffy had three large bruises on his arms, on his biceps. They were caused by my fingers.
Our handsome autistic big boy weighs nearly 100 pounds. He loves to play with our 4 year old daughter Katrina. When they play, there are at times, a struggle of wills between them, and he, being the biggest, would usually become the victor. She comes to us crying about something, and since it was my day off from work, I was handling the situation. Katrina had come to me the first time with a scratch. I called him to me and I placed my hand on his shoulder, and told him to be nice, and to give her a hug. The second time she came to me, he had hit her with his hand on her face. When he came to me, I cupped both hands around his head and had his full attention. I then warned Jeffy that he was not to hurt his sister again, and that I will put him in a time-out nearby, where I can watch him for 20 minutes, if it didn’t stop. I then gave him a hug and sent him to play. His memory was short, I guess, because only a few minutes went by when my princess came crying holding her neck, hiding a scratch he had just caused.
My thought was that I must do as I promised and warned him about. I called him to me, he took a few moments, but arrived at my side seemingly afraid to see my facial expression. I had him turn around so that he could see where we were going to end up, and I placed both hands on his arms near his shoulders, from behind, and my fingers were wrapped around his biceps. We marched a few steps with me behind, holding him in line. He exclaimed, ”No!” and before the next step was made, he raised both arms to a horizontal position, and in the same instance buckled his knees, dropping to the floor. I was caught off-guard, and my fingers held him a tad too long, before I was able to let go. The weight of his body was caught by my remaining fingers before I thought to let go, and bruises from two fingers from one hand and one bruise from the other hand were caused. I didn’t know that he was hurt at this time. Jeffy sat in Indian-style on the floor looking up at me. I was thinking that he should still go to his earned spot. I placed both of my hands on his torso under his arms, and lifted him to his time-out place on the bench. He then looked me in the eye and exclaimed, “You hurt me.” I thought about, not of his dropping, but of when I lifted him by his torso, and doubting his claim, dismissed it by saying, “You be good then!”
This was not an altercation. It was follow through on a punishment. He seldom resists when I punish him. He did not struggle at all. I just felt that he dropped in protest.
I have no kind words to say about the treatment that they have given me, since I defended my wife and dispelled the notion that she had done no harm to our 9 year old son. I am convinced that they were thinking strongly to remove our 6 children from our loving home, because she had fooled them and hadn’t improved, somehow.
Karen, my sweet beautiful wife was already in trouble with DCFS(CPS) because of one slap in the face of my 5 year old daughter. Our darling Gail wears glasses. She was testing her mother’s patience, and her mother knocked her glasses against her nose causing a bruise and a scratch and a slight blacking of both of her eyes. I think Karen will always remember how terrible she felt about hitting her pretty princess.
My wife had just been informed a week or two before, that they at DCFS were quite satisfied with her cooperation and performance. That they intended to close the case that she had with them. And then this happened with Jeffy.
My demeanor is quite different than Karen’s was. I do not lash out when I am angry. I don’t get angry at my children. I will not let them know that(but they may already have their suspicions).
My wife called me the day bruises were found on our boy at his school, as the officer and the CPS workers were leaving our home. They all were claiming that she had done so much damage to our son. She saw the bruises and denied having done anything like that. As she was describing the bruises over the phone, I pictured how I may have hurt him when I lifted him by the torso. I didn’t think I bruised him then, but now wasn’t sure. He did say I did, but these were on his arms. I could only picture that it was from the back of my hand as I lifted his torso. It confused me. I still didn’t see anything as evidence or a description that was not hard to picture. I was too far away from home. Far from all of the evidence. I am a truck driver, and I am seldom home on a weekday.
When I got off the phone with her, I immediately called the new caseworker, Devon Nelson. We discussed the bruises. I thought he was lying or she was, because the descriptions were different in my mind. Using hypothetical questions, over the cell phone, the caseworker Devon was forming a case against me. I had no idea he was recording my replies. He asked me if I could have grabbed Jeffy, and I answered him that it may be possible, but I know not to hurt or bruise. I explained to him that I was raised in a large family and that I knew what it could take to get a bruise or cause one. He told me that we need to take Jeffy to see a doctor, and get his bruises examined. I was planning to go home that night, so when I arrived home, nearly 8pm, the only option was to go to the emergency room at the hospital. I went in with Jeffy, and the doctor showed me that the bruises were from adult hands, as he showed how his fingers matched almost exactly. I narrowed it down to my own wife, or maybe a school teacher or helper, because still, I had no idea that I had hurt my precious loving boy. At 4 a.m. I woke-up and just lay there thinking. Asking myself how did she do it? and why she could think it would go unnoticed? Just then, I realized that it had to have happened when Jeffy dropped from my hands. I was relieved.
I realized how untrusting I was, I had thought to accuse Karen of hurting my boy. I was resolved right then, that I should wake her and apologize and show her how it had happened according to my estimation. That I had done it. I was so happy it wasn’t her. She was improving. She did change her demeanor to a more tolerable person, like she promised.
I couldn’t wait to tell everyone that my repentant wife was not to blame. That it was an accident. I had no idea that it didn’t matter to DCFS, Devon Nelson. A bruise is child abuse and nothing can change that here in Utah. I was trying to set-up a meeting with him, to show how I thought it had happened.
Just prior to our meeting that was to take place, Devon informed me over the phone that even with a demonstration, it was difficult, if not unlikely, to change his decision that it was child abuse. He never before met me and yet felt to make that statement. My demonstration was narrated and described as an accidental bruising and was disbelieved at the onset. He had informed me before he left, that he would have an interview with the examining doctor and that he would ask him if it were possible my demonstration was plausible. I sensed right away, that he was prejudging and that he was convinced of a separate scenario that had to have taken place. Prejudice is the definition.
I asked Devon before he left, at least two questions. One was that if it was his decision to call it abuse, if he doesn’t mind being overruled or overturned. he told me that it wouldn’t be the first time. I also asked him if he doesn’t mind giving me a negative report, and a record, and he shrugged his shoulders and smiled.
I refuse to believe that he had that interview with the doctor, and that he asked that question of my demonstration’s possibility of him. His case is not strong against me, but he represents the State of Utah. His superiors want to trust him. I am convinced that Mr. Nelson is trying to make a name for himself, at my expense. If it were up to me, he would be investigated for accuracy in my case. I am saddened to imagine, that other families may be suffering unjustly also, due to his involvement.

…Because you live, little child of mine,
the poor devils want father to pay.
“Somewhere in Texas” extracted from FLDS View Blog